Like a surprise gift Ken doll

After waking up on a sofa at 12 in the afternoon I felt the ever growing pain of a hangover. The type of hangover you get when you start drinking a bottle of JD each at 2pm followed by champagne and then wine till the early hours of 7am. It was then I awoke to see the T.V on and it being on the Free digital channel Really, which I'd never watched before but in this state of stillness and trying to remember ,'how I got here', I laid and watched in strewing anger at what I saw. Really states that it has "all the best reality TV programmes for woman" which after watching a few I found that woman really have no real idea of what reality is.
First of all I was lucky enough to view a the final episode of a show called 'Tough Love" which is hosted by a man named Steve Ward, whose voice makes him sound like A 17 year old boy trapped in A time loop from the 1970's. He tries to tame theses 'wild' ladies who just can't seem to get the long term man they are looking for. Mainly because they are either a massive slut or because they are so shy they are harder to find in a nightclub than a good song. As I said I saw the end of the series where they are all dress to kill and being told about their man who has been chosen for them. Who then comes out like a surprise gift Ken doll and they choose whether or not to give them A commitment ring that have on A necklace. They all do apart from one and then the tears are sherd apart from Steve, who is waiting for puberty to kick in so he can release fluids and have emotions.
The next show to grace my eyes was the monster named Bridezillas. Where woman who let's say have a bit of a temper get mad when things don't go right for there 'perfect day'. You guessed it, they go wrong, A lot. You may think giant things like the earth exploding or the groom being eating alive by the gocompare man but no it's more like the suits don't have mango coloured ties or that the Bride is unhappy that everyone at the meal isn't singing and dancing round her like the goddess she is. This show made me physically sick (which wasn't hard in the state of hungover I was in). All it did was make the idea of A wedding look like it is more meaningful than anything else in a girls life and that if one thing goes wrong then you will never be happy with the man you love so you might as well give up and smash A few buildings with your monster hands.
The last show I saw was A show I'd seen years ago but had forgotten about (which I find hard when you see the host). 10 Years younger, a show that takes woman who look like they've lived there lives in the back of A dirt field, dragging there faces through glasses everyday since day one and then takes them into the street to poked and laughed at by others for not being pretty like they should. The host Nicky Hambleton-Jones looks stunning which makes even the most normal looking person next to her look like a goblins entrails. So no wonder she can give advice on how to look good, look at her. The question is never really asked which is, are you happy? But who cares, cut them up and make them look pretty. Happiness isn't skin deep it's all about looking great. That why I cry at night because my body is the same as a hairy potato. Oh Nicky, help me....
This then got me thinking about how different forms of media are made for all different kinds of moods and people. The amount of times me and my mates have stumbled in after consuming enough alcohol to bring down an elephant. We then flick on the T.V and spends hours and hours watching Jackass (MTV). A show where a bunch of men inflict more pain on their male parts than a transsexual. But on the scale are the stoner comedy's where you just sit, laugh and forget why. Very much like a night out with Pete Doherty expect you are most likely not to end up in jail.
Then their are the daytime put down shows such as Jeremy Kyle or the over dramatized U.S.A. version named Maury. These shows aimed at the jobless and student life style where people need a pick up in there boring lives and this helps. Trust me, seeing a bunch of useless waste of spacers screw their lives up better than any episode of Eastenders (BBC) makes your life feel so uplifting.
But as I covered in last weeks blog about how the reality show format can be bad, really bad. So bad they can kill. Well maybe not but they definitely make me want to kill some of the people in them. Anyway the fame hungry animal cruelty show that is I'm a Celebrity get me out of here is back and it is as pointless as ever. Now I have no idea who this show is aimed at but whoever they are they probably are the same people who cheer when a plate is smashed in a restaurant or think Katie Price is an icon for them and there daughters. But while at a friends someone switched it over and I saw someone from the only way is Essex eating pig anus and then Freddy star lovingly swallow turkey balls I just couldn't see the appeal of sure a used toilet paper style of a show. It even shocks me when the Z-listers in their still are surprised when told to do these things as if it's the first show rather than the last drop of the already shit filled barrel.