Happy New Year!

Well Happy New Year too you all, I'm sure your all Happy it's a new year even if it's still the same expect a little more expensive. I'm sure your night ended the same as mine saying happy new year to people you don't care about who did the same to you. Then trying to throw up on your girlfriends cat? come on i know you did? Anyway the next day was a blur of realization that it's time to start getting a life and such with new years resolutions like get a new job, stay fit, be positive and put sellotape on a cat, but first to the cinema to help put that on hold for a few hours.
Cinema began in the late 1880's and has moved on quite a bit. There has been so many changes. Sound, Colour, CGI, children in age 12 rated films, popcorn and other loud crap that annoyed the hell out of me. So here goes that rant you knew was coming because, well, its the title of my blog-a-tron. First of all i went and saw the new Tron which contained some 3D elements with this new ultra 3D that every other film slaps on it in order to make it look good even if it's utter shit. I'm looking at you Resident Evil Afterlife. You couldn't make the others good in 2D let alone in 3D. So now the shit hits you with pain so close you wanna punch the air hoping it ends the film but instead you end up looking like a drunk in a dance contest. Now something to let you in on is that very few films are actually filmed in 3D as its costs (according to the BBC news) 60% more to film in 3D so most films just put it on in post in order to cash in on the £10 ticket costs (for Americans that's about $13.50). Which is why in those films the 3D has no point in helping the film but just makes it more annoying to watch. Well other than Avatar which was filmed all in 3D for about $300 million, Tron Legacy also agreed to do this, but because of the costs only some slick cool fighting style scenes were done and when their were light cycle battles it helped me to feel like I was in the fight looking cool like a sexy leather clad hero. The 3D helps to do this in the same way holding a tiny plastic guitar hitting Red, Green, Red, Blue makes you feel like your in The Beatles or the same way  holding a knife listening to Peter Andre makes you want to murder half the Austrian population for breeding. So you get it, enjoyed it, but what i didn't enjoy was a human child in front of me for number of reasons. First of all he had no idea what was going on with the film because he's too young to know and because he never stopped moving like a speed freak in a night club. Up, Down, Up down i wanted kick his head right off his body like a Frisbee but instead i got more and more angry with him and his parents for ever spawning such devilish flesh. See why do parents take their kids to such films, where they know their kids will have no interest in watching them? I don't know, if you do tell them to stop. In fact kids shouldn't even go to the cinema as they never watch the film they just scream and shout and run about like a demented virus. But this was the parents fault for bringing him to the film so maybe they need their head Frisbeed?
Next was the food, why do the serve food in cinemas? Can people not wait 2 hours to eat? You know your going to the cinema so why not eat before hand, is their no time that people can not stop shoving crap into their faces? I can image people sitting and watching a film on the third world going "aw its so sad, pass me the bucket of popcorn". In fact why the fuck pop corn, its the most loud food ever eaten by man. It sounds like your crushing bones withing you fat sucking vacuum mouth. How can you loose yourself in a magical world of fantasy when in the cinema it sounds more like a mob in a football stadium. But this didn't matter to much in Tron, as they clearly knew people would stuff their faces so turned the amazing Daft Punk soundtrack up to 11 and made my ears slowly bleed out what was left of my hungover brain.
Then, after the film, the lights come on and you see the food splashed all over the floor and no one picking up anything they ate like pigs in a troth. Why do people do this is this how you live your life at home in a pile of your own filth. But if you are one of these people i hope the next drink you suck all the way through a film contains Full Blown Aids so you can die as slowly as i was while you ruined every film i watch.
My last wonder of fun is the social (and i use the word lightly) vanadium that is Twitter. I have no understanding of why i should care about strangers lives who i see through a magic colour box or why they should care about mine. It seems alittlefacebook, my iPhone and i talk to them so why bother with that. Anyone with twitter why not tweet me and i will see how much i don't care. Maybe you might even convince me to keep the darn thing. Anyway where was i? Oh Yes. Happy New Year.

Tweet at: @Pippy_Pipatron