Here are three things that i do but do not care if others do. First i am a vegetarian and do not care if you eat meat. Second I like watching sports and it's no problem to me if you do or not and third i play video games and could not give a caber toss what people think about that one. Especially as i like to shoot people and watch them bleed and then throw birds and pigs while on the loo. It's either that or try it for real, but then that's the point of fantasy. So when i started hearing about Eastenders (BBC) fans going on about how they will never watch it again, I though nothing less than maybe they've gained life in that brain of theirs. But it turns out that's not the case as the reason no one is watching (if you didn't already know) is because a baby died and then was swapped with another baby and people can't take this as they say this would never happen and portrays mothers badly. Now hold on a second, your saying a soap is showing a series of events that would never happen and there I was thinking that Phil getting addicted to crack was real or that the live episode actually happened which means Bradley is dead and if you enjoyed his slow moving body dying on the pavement you are a sick freak with a lust for murder. But once again people were quick to complain as if they had their phones on speed dial, ready to tell the BBC off for trying anything that they, the license payer, were unhappy with. Now the problem here is that when watching a soap you have to take the shit with the shit and guess what it's all shit but you watch this show of deep voices and half arsed intercourse as you like to see people whose lives are worse than yours. At least it's not the porn without the sex that is Hollyoaks (C4). Most adults can't even be happy seeing half decent looking 20 somethings acting bad and complaining because they have school tomorrow. But come on even if a 50 year old woman sleeps with her sons best mate whose 20 or Ian does anything other than be a wimpy geeky man whose not to think it's real. Does no one remember when his wife took up comedy? No, of course not you lapped that shit up like a dog on balls but why the fuss now, because a baby was involved as always. But if it was five adults heads being blown apart in a graphic gun battle you'd sit their eyes so wide open you'd think the moon was taking over in some sort of revenge of the moon film, wondering if the character will be back next week after you see their head blow up all over the cameras, which aren't their as remember it's all real. Now if you don't like a story in a soap maybe just see it through if you like the show or wait till it's gone, don't phone up a junkie needing their next fix of joy. Paying your TV license doesn't mean you own the TV shows on it. There are 70'000 people in this Country and we all like different things if you hate something guess what, TURN OVER! This reminds me of a case back in 2003 where the BBC planned to show Jerry Springer The Opera and many Christians burned their licenses saying "we don't pay for this anti god show" no you pay for all the other god loving shows which are boring as hell (which in itself makes no sense as if hell was real it would be busy with a lot of new entries). Thankfully the BBC did the right thing and showed it which i feel was the best move unlike now where they are too scared to do anything in case they get sued, or raped or both. All I'm saying here is on the same vein i can phone up at 6 on a Sunday morning and ask that Songs of praise be taken off the air as it's a waste of my money, but i don't, i just do something else, like sleeping.
Also in the News is the tragic events that in an airport in Moscow Russia a suicide bomber killed 35 people and injured 180 others. So whose to blame for these events? Could the man have a mental history or a trouble passed? Were airport security involved? Well don't worry because Fox News knows why, Video Games and in particular Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 as in this game an already controversial level involves you being a Russian and killing people in an airport. It is unknown if the man played the game at all but does that matter FOX News, cause not. So their you go, cased closed, thanks fox news i guess you also helped with the case of the Italian who takes mushrooms and beats up monkeys and a Blue Hedgehog that is breaking land speed records. Now I don't know if video games cause violence but i feel that if they do the same can 100% be said about film, TV and the news. But they are still up and running? I mean this would mean watching FOX news makes you dumb, hmm maybe need to re-think this. Anyway if a person was inflienced by say a video game or Film it would take a person with a certain kind of mind otherwise everyone would be out their blowing shit up saying DO IT, COME ON DO IT! Also violence has been going on long before video games, infact before media, so it's not a new thing so maybe just maybe it's part of who we are and we need to learn how to control it instead of doing what we always seem to do in any stitition and pass the blame.
Last thing I want say is, no one tweeted me, not one sad and lonely person so i have no list of hated people, so i guess you all hate me and i am the top dog of haters. But as i have no one i shall just pick out a few adverts i hate quickly and maybe someone will give me one person to hate. First i hate the Confused.com advert where they rape and piss over Freddie's body by singing somebody to love, no one loves your company but the top man who gets all the cash. Also does no one find it freaky the woman pulls a mic stand out of her lady area? Where are all those speed dial complainers when you need them. Second is the Shane Warn hairlose advert. While he sits in a chair talking in a This is your life kind of moment i seem to notice that maybe his hair isn't the only thing he's lost. Your going bald get over it don't rub a brush over your head to get that wig like effect. Whats weird is when he tells us that other Cricketers also use this product. Is their a bald curse going around the game, if i were you men (and woman) i'd never play cricket just in case. In fact don't even watch it as it may sneak through the TV into you skull. Lastly is the Waitrose advert which, as all supermarket adverts seems to do at the moment, like to tell me how much cheaper they are than Tesco. "Look this panda is 10p cheaper than at Tesco". Now this is all find and dandy pissing on your compertion in broad daylight in a very American Kind of fashion but it's the small print that got me. It tells us that these prices will be "amended in 2-5 working days" so they will be changed back to the orignal higher prices? What a bunch of cheap ass mother flippers (this word will be amended in 2-5 working days, if you don't have a job that's monday to friday).
If anyone actually wants me to rant about a famous person then tweet me below otherwise just tweet me or.....do something with your life
@Pippy_Pipatron
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Thursday, 20 January 2011
I Warned You How Crap It Would Be!
This week as been a busy week of absolute pointlessness. I have no real issues i want to chat about so here's what I've got, remember i warned you how crap it would be so don't come shouting at me because i didn't go on about the man who feel in a pond in Canada while texting because he was a highlight.
Well hasn't the News changed a lot over the years? What No? But look at the funky graphics and the swish weather report that's never wrong. In the news it seems that Alcohol is going to cost more and people are unhappy. Some people have been murdered and we get to talk to a guy who once passed the murderer bread 50 years ago and he tells us how he knew by the way he said thank you he really meant murder. Also in the news Elton John has a baby, hmmm hold on what and why? Anyway i don't want to get into the conversation about which one of them is the mum but all i know is they shouldn't have this test tube baby, adopt you gits stop bringing more kids into the world we are full! Also on the NEWS was information that some bint is pregnant with her forth child and some twat is getting a divorce again, if you want to see more head to the Sun newspaper as its filled with this kind of shit! I was looking forward to reading about the Golden Globes in the Sun but instead they were going on about the dresses, which was the best and how Rickey Gervais offend everyone. Wheres the winners, the films that had won? nope just pages of look at this hole and boobs.
But back to one of the stories good old fun filled alcohol, who can remember a good night without it? Anyone? No one? So whats all the who ha you say, its still out their in the taps ready to be sampled in the glass mugs of joy but why in the news. It's because its going up in price and they say it's down to health reasons and there i was thinking it was because they wanted more money. But why is it things like alcohol and cigarettes keep going up for our safety yet we all know how bad they are. It's our own body let us do whatever we want with it. If their that bad ban them you pussy's stop tip toeing around saying what we can and can't do with our own lives. It's like when they go on about petrol destroying the earth why don't they then ban cars, oh wait you don't want to otherwise where will you get all that tax money? I know make petrol cost 1 million pound a drop and the only way to fill it up is to beat a goat up in a wrestling match onto of a mountain then the planet will truly be saved. Government please remember people need to live we aren't all super rich and can get people to carry us through the traffic on an elephant.
While on the subject of driving, I Hate it, I think it's an overrated expensive journey of anger and showing off. For all you who can't drive or who are learning to drive you may feel driving is very exciting, you may even get all sexual when a friend tells you they will give you a lift but i warn you now after the hours and £1'000 spent learning to turn, go forward, swear at the white man van, avoid the dinosaurs and make it under the windmill you will grow to hate it. Driving is not all fast and fun its mainly slow, dull and getting from A to B as slow as possible. You spend most of the time in traffic or being cut up on motorways which if you think is smooth driving you'd be as wrong as a safe sex advert for Hedgehogs. The roads are full of holes and bumps and you spend most of your time wondering if your car will survive the journey so you can throw up at the end. While your doing all this you get pay out your eyes, ears mouth and nose for petrol that will always go up in price, road tax, insurance, the car, air usage inside the car, the little dice you hang to look cool but end up looking like a dick in a headlight, gnome fees and spare parts for you glee. Everyone on the road thinks they are awesome and that you are a pile of shit and will cut you up, beep if you aren't going more then the speed limit and won't signal at roundabouts cause come on you know where their going. So have fun bleeding out the arse for this overpriced ball of shit. Too bad we all need to do it in order to get to work. woo....................
A show that did make me think this week was the look at Is Oral Sex Safe? The answer, is anything ? The show is hosted by Ray Winstones daughter, you know the guy who wants us to bet on the number of corners in a football game. But it's while watching Jamie Winstone talk about being sexual active that I feel like reaching for a spoon so I can ram it through my eyes, scoop out my brain and throw it down a dildo Forrest. We also meet a man who got the HPV virus, this is the virus which they say is causing cancer and we all have it but a few people can't get rid of it and it triggers cancer, through what he says is oral sex but also smokes 6/7 a day and has a body full of tattoos, one of which is a poem which sounds like it was written by Dr.Seuss. Winstone later goes on to meet a woman who has and OBE for her research to which she says is "pretty impressive stuff". I feel that her presenting style is much like her dads and the next thing she'll be bumping fists with everyone and calling them geezer while telling us about how we can bet on all the different ways the HPV virus will get us. I'm putting a tenner on anus as I'm told by the OBE woman is our "back passage" and you know how sneaky virus's can be. Now I'm not saying that cancer is not something to think about. It is said one in three of us will get it in our lives so its a big part but the problem with this documentary is it's trying to scare us all into saying don't have any oral sex, in fact don't touch anyone, in fact your fucked anyway just die. Plus the presenting style is so bland and boring you find yourself wondering off to a book and reading up on what the hell this programme is meant to be telling us. Their are so many ways we can die that if you were to worry about all of them you'd never leave the house unless you told them the houses gave you cancer. Before the flood of hate mail begins I am not praising cancer it is horrible and wrong but this programme does nothing but be little us into little children and saying "now kids don't touc each other or you will die. Now here's your bubble wrap clothes go have fun"
Last thing to moan about which also has nothing to do with anything else other than i hate him is Piers Morgan is still alive. Not only this but the former editor of news of the world (i think its this shit it may be other shit so correct me if I'm wrong) has moved to the USA to hose his own chat show. I remember his chat show over here. Piers Morgan meets Cheryl Cole, Yawn, Jordon, Double Yawn, Elton John, ZZZZZZZZ, Hitler. Oh wait that's a mirror. Not really but if only then it might be worth watching as all he seems do is talk about how awesome he is, they are and then who is better which he normally states is him. The only time he failed to win was when Alan Sugar told him he had more money than him oh the lying face of the Morgan melted faster than an ice lolly in an oven. Speaking of his face is like some sort of potato in the process of being made into a pastry and when he smile baby's DIE! so don't make him laugh by telling him celeb gossip you found while hiding in a tree for four days outside them home, which is called journalism but if i did it I'm a freak wheres the line people. He is indeed someone I could see off my T.V as well as Jedward and Jordon but i thought why write about these twats when we all know they suck. So i thought why not Tweet me (as it needs a use) who you hate and why and I'll post it on here to fill up some space and making me do less work. Remember I Warned you!
Tweet at @Pippy_Pipatron
Well hasn't the News changed a lot over the years? What No? But look at the funky graphics and the swish weather report that's never wrong. In the news it seems that Alcohol is going to cost more and people are unhappy. Some people have been murdered and we get to talk to a guy who once passed the murderer bread 50 years ago and he tells us how he knew by the way he said thank you he really meant murder. Also in the news Elton John has a baby, hmmm hold on what and why? Anyway i don't want to get into the conversation about which one of them is the mum but all i know is they shouldn't have this test tube baby, adopt you gits stop bringing more kids into the world we are full! Also on the NEWS was information that some bint is pregnant with her forth child and some twat is getting a divorce again, if you want to see more head to the Sun newspaper as its filled with this kind of shit! I was looking forward to reading about the Golden Globes in the Sun but instead they were going on about the dresses, which was the best and how Rickey Gervais offend everyone. Wheres the winners, the films that had won? nope just pages of look at this hole and boobs.
But back to one of the stories good old fun filled alcohol, who can remember a good night without it? Anyone? No one? So whats all the who ha you say, its still out their in the taps ready to be sampled in the glass mugs of joy but why in the news. It's because its going up in price and they say it's down to health reasons and there i was thinking it was because they wanted more money. But why is it things like alcohol and cigarettes keep going up for our safety yet we all know how bad they are. It's our own body let us do whatever we want with it. If their that bad ban them you pussy's stop tip toeing around saying what we can and can't do with our own lives. It's like when they go on about petrol destroying the earth why don't they then ban cars, oh wait you don't want to otherwise where will you get all that tax money? I know make petrol cost 1 million pound a drop and the only way to fill it up is to beat a goat up in a wrestling match onto of a mountain then the planet will truly be saved. Government please remember people need to live we aren't all super rich and can get people to carry us through the traffic on an elephant.
While on the subject of driving, I Hate it, I think it's an overrated expensive journey of anger and showing off. For all you who can't drive or who are learning to drive you may feel driving is very exciting, you may even get all sexual when a friend tells you they will give you a lift but i warn you now after the hours and £1'000 spent learning to turn, go forward, swear at the white man van, avoid the dinosaurs and make it under the windmill you will grow to hate it. Driving is not all fast and fun its mainly slow, dull and getting from A to B as slow as possible. You spend most of the time in traffic or being cut up on motorways which if you think is smooth driving you'd be as wrong as a safe sex advert for Hedgehogs. The roads are full of holes and bumps and you spend most of your time wondering if your car will survive the journey so you can throw up at the end. While your doing all this you get pay out your eyes, ears mouth and nose for petrol that will always go up in price, road tax, insurance, the car, air usage inside the car, the little dice you hang to look cool but end up looking like a dick in a headlight, gnome fees and spare parts for you glee. Everyone on the road thinks they are awesome and that you are a pile of shit and will cut you up, beep if you aren't going more then the speed limit and won't signal at roundabouts cause come on you know where their going. So have fun bleeding out the arse for this overpriced ball of shit. Too bad we all need to do it in order to get to work. woo....................
A show that did make me think this week was the look at Is Oral Sex Safe? The answer, is anything ? The show is hosted by Ray Winstones daughter, you know the guy who wants us to bet on the number of corners in a football game. But it's while watching Jamie Winstone talk about being sexual active that I feel like reaching for a spoon so I can ram it through my eyes, scoop out my brain and throw it down a dildo Forrest. We also meet a man who got the HPV virus, this is the virus which they say is causing cancer and we all have it but a few people can't get rid of it and it triggers cancer, through what he says is oral sex but also smokes 6/7 a day and has a body full of tattoos, one of which is a poem which sounds like it was written by Dr.Seuss. Winstone later goes on to meet a woman who has and OBE for her research to which she says is "pretty impressive stuff". I feel that her presenting style is much like her dads and the next thing she'll be bumping fists with everyone and calling them geezer while telling us about how we can bet on all the different ways the HPV virus will get us. I'm putting a tenner on anus as I'm told by the OBE woman is our "back passage" and you know how sneaky virus's can be. Now I'm not saying that cancer is not something to think about. It is said one in three of us will get it in our lives so its a big part but the problem with this documentary is it's trying to scare us all into saying don't have any oral sex, in fact don't touch anyone, in fact your fucked anyway just die. Plus the presenting style is so bland and boring you find yourself wondering off to a book and reading up on what the hell this programme is meant to be telling us. Their are so many ways we can die that if you were to worry about all of them you'd never leave the house unless you told them the houses gave you cancer. Before the flood of hate mail begins I am not praising cancer it is horrible and wrong but this programme does nothing but be little us into little children and saying "now kids don't touc each other or you will die. Now here's your bubble wrap clothes go have fun"
Last thing to moan about which also has nothing to do with anything else other than i hate him is Piers Morgan is still alive. Not only this but the former editor of news of the world (i think its this shit it may be other shit so correct me if I'm wrong) has moved to the USA to hose his own chat show. I remember his chat show over here. Piers Morgan meets Cheryl Cole, Yawn, Jordon, Double Yawn, Elton John, ZZZZZZZZ, Hitler. Oh wait that's a mirror. Not really but if only then it might be worth watching as all he seems do is talk about how awesome he is, they are and then who is better which he normally states is him. The only time he failed to win was when Alan Sugar told him he had more money than him oh the lying face of the Morgan melted faster than an ice lolly in an oven. Speaking of his face is like some sort of potato in the process of being made into a pastry and when he smile baby's DIE! so don't make him laugh by telling him celeb gossip you found while hiding in a tree for four days outside them home, which is called journalism but if i did it I'm a freak wheres the line people. He is indeed someone I could see off my T.V as well as Jedward and Jordon but i thought why write about these twats when we all know they suck. So i thought why not Tweet me (as it needs a use) who you hate and why and I'll post it on here to fill up some space and making me do less work. Remember I Warned you!
Tweet at @Pippy_Pipatron
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
No one gives a Shit what you think!
The other day while I was lying in bed I decided to listen to Doug Stanhope's "from Across the street" and it really hit it on the head. Well i only remember the first few tracks as i fell asleep it all made sense to me. Such as one of the things being that English people are more violent then Americans as while he was in Manchester he saw a sign telling people not to beat up Ambulance drivers and you know he's right. If you go to any pub their will always be some sort of fight over something so pointless you forget why your fighting but are demanding to win. What makes it more idiotic is that these people know they get violent when drunk but do it anyway, yet if you get stoned your called a drug addict yet you don't harm anyone because the only thing your really thinking about is "are pizza hut open at 12". Maybe we are lucky we don't have gun's. Anyway where was I. I like Doug and am glad I'm not alone in my thoughts but the thing that got me was when he was speaking about blogs (like this one) and said "think your stupid opinion counts, no one gives a shit what you think" and my friends he's right. The fact that I'm even writing this blog proves how little it matters as i go on and on about these issues but no listens. But then i don't care what you think. I'm just doing this so i don't shout at people i meet on a day to day basis, so where back to square one again.
It seems that everyone wants some sort of validation in their life, that somehow theirs matters more than everyone Else's. Well, it doesn't. Sorry but no. Facebook is amazing at proving this as we all post status's that no one really cares about but just want to comment on so they have proof that they have friends. Mothers post non stop posts about the fact they have kids forgetting no one cares about their children but them, and bands update us with their thoughts on the world when all we really want to know is when they are bringing out a new album. Twitter is even worse, where people follow around celebrities to find out what they get up to and surprisingly it's the same boring stuff everyone does. I really don't get Twitter i don't care about strangers lives, they don't care about mine why should I be following them around like a fat kid follows cake. I'm surprised we don't just link our thoughts up to a 24 hour feed and then people can see what we are doing all the time. "Eating an apple. Walking To the loo. Using The Loo. Reading 24 Hour Twitter Feed".
The Internet provides many ways for people to feel they matter with all kinds of chat rooms, surveys and TV polls when really your a number or stat for them to grow. Kinda like when a bank tries to make you feel like your the only one that counts when all they want is your money so they can throw it on the rest of the money they have and then lose in some big game of Russian roulette where in the end they get given money for just playing even when they lose. I don't really want go on about the bankers bonus as i don't know all the In's and outs but all i do know is i thought you got a bonus for doing a good job?
Another thing Facebook and such sites do is prompt this idea that you should care what others think about you, as if you need them to love it otherwise you wont do it. By splashing pictures of your nights out and what you think are 'hilarious' photos all over the place to show you do go outside but really you spend most of your time behind a camera taking photos just so you can upload them on Facebook and show people what a great time you had. It seems even Television is doing this by showing shows like Come Dine With Me (Channel 4) where you rate some Else's cooking and hope to be the best. Who cares it's food, did it taste like food? Then shut up or I'll swap you with a starving African Child and see if he would give it a ten. Another show I just saw was a show called May The Best House Win ITV) where a similar idea is used but rating a person's house. Why do you care what others think of you house, you live their why don't you care about it and have done with it. It's almost as if all we should do with our whole lives if make sure everyone else is okay with what we do in case its not the same even if it has no affect on their lives what so ever. I expect to see more such shows where we rate each others poo just to check its the same, oh wait, that happened.
A show that seems to have taken this format and cranked it beyond reason is the mind numbing Take Me Out (ITV) where a cheery Paddy Mcguiness hosts a semi circle of nit wit females who turn a light off if they don't like the man in front of them. Then the surviving girl goes on a date with this man to which they normally say "i don't like him". But what do they expect? A man with the kind of love for himself that a footballer has for his teammates wives comes prancing onto the show full of smug and git and thinks he's amazing. Then the woman look at him, who also think their amazing, and what do you get, An emotionless push of heartbroken feelings. Well when you see the kind of selfish crap that comes onto this show then they deserve what they get. Some of the stupidity the dwells within the girls voting makes you wish they were the ones playing Russian roulette, not the bankers, then it would taking someone out. But maybe I'm just angry they wouldn't let me on. Oh well the Ambulance is here now.
It seems that everyone wants some sort of validation in their life, that somehow theirs matters more than everyone Else's. Well, it doesn't. Sorry but no. Facebook is amazing at proving this as we all post status's that no one really cares about but just want to comment on so they have proof that they have friends. Mothers post non stop posts about the fact they have kids forgetting no one cares about their children but them, and bands update us with their thoughts on the world when all we really want to know is when they are bringing out a new album. Twitter is even worse, where people follow around celebrities to find out what they get up to and surprisingly it's the same boring stuff everyone does. I really don't get Twitter i don't care about strangers lives, they don't care about mine why should I be following them around like a fat kid follows cake. I'm surprised we don't just link our thoughts up to a 24 hour feed and then people can see what we are doing all the time. "Eating an apple. Walking To the loo. Using The Loo. Reading 24 Hour Twitter Feed".
The Internet provides many ways for people to feel they matter with all kinds of chat rooms, surveys and TV polls when really your a number or stat for them to grow. Kinda like when a bank tries to make you feel like your the only one that counts when all they want is your money so they can throw it on the rest of the money they have and then lose in some big game of Russian roulette where in the end they get given money for just playing even when they lose. I don't really want go on about the bankers bonus as i don't know all the In's and outs but all i do know is i thought you got a bonus for doing a good job?
Another thing Facebook and such sites do is prompt this idea that you should care what others think about you, as if you need them to love it otherwise you wont do it. By splashing pictures of your nights out and what you think are 'hilarious' photos all over the place to show you do go outside but really you spend most of your time behind a camera taking photos just so you can upload them on Facebook and show people what a great time you had. It seems even Television is doing this by showing shows like Come Dine With Me (Channel 4) where you rate some Else's cooking and hope to be the best. Who cares it's food, did it taste like food? Then shut up or I'll swap you with a starving African Child and see if he would give it a ten. Another show I just saw was a show called May The Best House Win ITV) where a similar idea is used but rating a person's house. Why do you care what others think of you house, you live their why don't you care about it and have done with it. It's almost as if all we should do with our whole lives if make sure everyone else is okay with what we do in case its not the same even if it has no affect on their lives what so ever. I expect to see more such shows where we rate each others poo just to check its the same, oh wait, that happened.
A show that seems to have taken this format and cranked it beyond reason is the mind numbing Take Me Out (ITV) where a cheery Paddy Mcguiness hosts a semi circle of nit wit females who turn a light off if they don't like the man in front of them. Then the surviving girl goes on a date with this man to which they normally say "i don't like him". But what do they expect? A man with the kind of love for himself that a footballer has for his teammates wives comes prancing onto the show full of smug and git and thinks he's amazing. Then the woman look at him, who also think their amazing, and what do you get, An emotionless push of heartbroken feelings. Well when you see the kind of selfish crap that comes onto this show then they deserve what they get. Some of the stupidity the dwells within the girls voting makes you wish they were the ones playing Russian roulette, not the bankers, then it would taking someone out. But maybe I'm just angry they wouldn't let me on. Oh well the Ambulance is here now.
Thursday, 6 January 2011
Happy New Year!
Well Happy New Year too you all, I'm sure your all Happy it's a new year even if it's still the same expect a little more expensive. I'm sure your night ended the same as mine saying happy new year to people you don't care about who did the same to you. Then trying to throw up on your girlfriends cat? come on i know you did? Anyway the next day was a blur of realization that it's time to start getting a life and such with new years resolutions like get a new job, stay fit, be positive and put sellotape on a cat, but first to the cinema to help put that on hold for a few hours.
Cinema began in the late 1880's and has moved on quite a bit. There has been so many changes. Sound, Colour, CGI, children in age 12 rated films, popcorn and other loud crap that annoyed the hell out of me. So here goes that rant you knew was coming because, well, its the title of my blog-a-tron. First of all i went and saw the new Tron which contained some 3D elements with this new ultra 3D that every other film slaps on it in order to make it look good even if it's utter shit. I'm looking at you Resident Evil Afterlife. You couldn't make the others good in 2D let alone in 3D. So now the shit hits you with pain so close you wanna punch the air hoping it ends the film but instead you end up looking like a drunk in a dance contest. Now something to let you in on is that very few films are actually filmed in 3D as its costs (according to the BBC news) 60% more to film in 3D so most films just put it on in post in order to cash in on the £10 ticket costs (for Americans that's about $13.50). Which is why in those films the 3D has no point in helping the film but just makes it more annoying to watch. Well other than Avatar which was filmed all in 3D for about $300 million, Tron Legacy also agreed to do this, but because of the costs only some slick cool fighting style scenes were done and when their were light cycle battles it helped me to feel like I was in the fight looking cool like a sexy leather clad hero. The 3D helps to do this in the same way holding a tiny plastic guitar hitting Red, Green, Red, Blue makes you feel like your in The Beatles or the same way holding a knife listening to Peter Andre makes you want to murder half the Austrian population for breeding. So you get it, enjoyed it, but what i didn't enjoy was a human child in front of me for number of reasons. First of all he had no idea what was going on with the film because he's too young to know and because he never stopped moving like a speed freak in a night club. Up, Down, Up down i wanted kick his head right off his body like a Frisbee but instead i got more and more angry with him and his parents for ever spawning such devilish flesh. See why do parents take their kids to such films, where they know their kids will have no interest in watching them? I don't know, if you do tell them to stop. In fact kids shouldn't even go to the cinema as they never watch the film they just scream and shout and run about like a demented virus. But this was the parents fault for bringing him to the film so maybe they need their head Frisbeed?
Next was the food, why do the serve food in cinemas? Can people not wait 2 hours to eat? You know your going to the cinema so why not eat before hand, is their no time that people can not stop shoving crap into their faces? I can image people sitting and watching a film on the third world going "aw its so sad, pass me the bucket of popcorn". In fact why the fuck pop corn, its the most loud food ever eaten by man. It sounds like your crushing bones withing you fat sucking vacuum mouth. How can you loose yourself in a magical world of fantasy when in the cinema it sounds more like a mob in a football stadium. But this didn't matter to much in Tron, as they clearly knew people would stuff their faces so turned the amazing Daft Punk soundtrack up to 11 and made my ears slowly bleed out what was left of my hungover brain.
Then, after the film, the lights come on and you see the food splashed all over the floor and no one picking up anything they ate like pigs in a troth. Why do people do this is this how you live your life at home in a pile of your own filth. But if you are one of these people i hope the next drink you suck all the way through a film contains Full Blown Aids so you can die as slowly as i was while you ruined every film i watch.
My last wonder of fun is the social (and i use the word lightly) vanadium that is Twitter. I have no understanding of why i should care about strangers lives who i see through a magic colour box or why they should care about mine. It seems alittlefacebook, my iPhone and i talk to them so why bother with that. Anyone with twitter why not tweet me and i will see how much i don't care. Maybe you might even convince me to keep the darn thing. Anyway where was i? Oh Yes. Happy New Year.
Tweet at: @Pippy_Pipatron
Cinema began in the late 1880's and has moved on quite a bit. There has been so many changes. Sound, Colour, CGI, children in age 12 rated films, popcorn and other loud crap that annoyed the hell out of me. So here goes that rant you knew was coming because, well, its the title of my blog-a-tron. First of all i went and saw the new Tron which contained some 3D elements with this new ultra 3D that every other film slaps on it in order to make it look good even if it's utter shit. I'm looking at you Resident Evil Afterlife. You couldn't make the others good in 2D let alone in 3D. So now the shit hits you with pain so close you wanna punch the air hoping it ends the film but instead you end up looking like a drunk in a dance contest. Now something to let you in on is that very few films are actually filmed in 3D as its costs (according to the BBC news) 60% more to film in 3D so most films just put it on in post in order to cash in on the £10 ticket costs (for Americans that's about $13.50). Which is why in those films the 3D has no point in helping the film but just makes it more annoying to watch. Well other than Avatar which was filmed all in 3D for about $300 million, Tron Legacy also agreed to do this, but because of the costs only some slick cool fighting style scenes were done and when their were light cycle battles it helped me to feel like I was in the fight looking cool like a sexy leather clad hero. The 3D helps to do this in the same way holding a tiny plastic guitar hitting Red, Green, Red, Blue makes you feel like your in The Beatles or the same way holding a knife listening to Peter Andre makes you want to murder half the Austrian population for breeding. So you get it, enjoyed it, but what i didn't enjoy was a human child in front of me for number of reasons. First of all he had no idea what was going on with the film because he's too young to know and because he never stopped moving like a speed freak in a night club. Up, Down, Up down i wanted kick his head right off his body like a Frisbee but instead i got more and more angry with him and his parents for ever spawning such devilish flesh. See why do parents take their kids to such films, where they know their kids will have no interest in watching them? I don't know, if you do tell them to stop. In fact kids shouldn't even go to the cinema as they never watch the film they just scream and shout and run about like a demented virus. But this was the parents fault for bringing him to the film so maybe they need their head Frisbeed?
Next was the food, why do the serve food in cinemas? Can people not wait 2 hours to eat? You know your going to the cinema so why not eat before hand, is their no time that people can not stop shoving crap into their faces? I can image people sitting and watching a film on the third world going "aw its so sad, pass me the bucket of popcorn". In fact why the fuck pop corn, its the most loud food ever eaten by man. It sounds like your crushing bones withing you fat sucking vacuum mouth. How can you loose yourself in a magical world of fantasy when in the cinema it sounds more like a mob in a football stadium. But this didn't matter to much in Tron, as they clearly knew people would stuff their faces so turned the amazing Daft Punk soundtrack up to 11 and made my ears slowly bleed out what was left of my hungover brain.
Then, after the film, the lights come on and you see the food splashed all over the floor and no one picking up anything they ate like pigs in a troth. Why do people do this is this how you live your life at home in a pile of your own filth. But if you are one of these people i hope the next drink you suck all the way through a film contains Full Blown Aids so you can die as slowly as i was while you ruined every film i watch.
My last wonder of fun is the social (and i use the word lightly) vanadium that is Twitter. I have no understanding of why i should care about strangers lives who i see through a magic colour box or why they should care about mine. It seems alittlefacebook, my iPhone and i talk to them so why bother with that. Anyone with twitter why not tweet me and i will see how much i don't care. Maybe you might even convince me to keep the darn thing. Anyway where was i? Oh Yes. Happy New Year.
Tweet at: @Pippy_Pipatron
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