Once again it's Saturday. Time off for most people to sit back and relax with the one's they love. Maybe get a take away or cook a nice family meal then still down in front of the TV and watch some good old Saturday night TV. Thus the joyful night of love ends as once again it's filled with buckets so full of shit that the overflowing fluid of muck has leaked all over the rest of the media making a giant shit sandwich of programming joy. Mainly it is ITV bringing back some shows so useless that each year you find yourself waiting for it all to end just so you can turn your TV on again without fear of total damnation. What I am referring to is the X-factor spin off that is Britain's Got Talent (ITV), which it seems it has in small amounts. There are genuine talented people out there. Singers, dancers and even woman who can command their dogs but its the unrelenting amount of losers that makes the show really unappealing. It's more cringe factor when they happily broadcast these people on national TV in front of millions. While being mocked by an emotionless doll, a washed up bad actor and a unfunny comedian who find pleasure in telling other people that they are crap and pointing and laughing till the person implodes into themselves form a black hole of disspear. It wouldn't be so bad if you knew that it was live or the acts had been seen before but in order to get on TV they have too go through one or two attentions. Making you relize that the producers full well know they suck but feel it would be better to pretend they are great and let them make a big fool of themselves for our amusement. "Oh My god they are so bad, this is soul destroying. Put them on after the toast guy". The list of 'talent' this year really is depressing. A man who makes a picture out of toast, a dancing dog, an autistic boy who can dance (well i have no idea as i know nothing about dancing but everyone else clapped and cheered so i guess he must be), many many half naked woman to which the Hoff loved, a JLS wannabe group who couldn't sing (but got through) and a French dancer man who was by far the best thing on the show so far (so the best talent from Britain's from France then? Is that allowed? What's the point of the show being called Britain's got talent) all of which go through to the next round. A man who thought he could break dance did not get through. But after they did the heart to heart story of how he's always wanted to dance and then he shows he can't and we laugh at him and his efforts. It makes you be glad your not him, ha ha look at him, trying in life, fool. Also do these people not have friends who tell them to their faces they are rubbish maybe before they go on TV? I know I wouldn't want to go on a show like that before asking others. I hope their 'friends' are happy they lied and said they were good because it's all your fault they went and believed and got put down and will probably be deeply scared by the whole event.
Then there is the judges, Amanda Holden, David Hasselhoff and Michael McIntyre who all have their own technique in dealing with the contestants. Amanda Holden has this doll like ability to not show any form of emotion, much like Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Rings, so knowing if she approved of an act or not is hard to say from her facial expressions. So you have to relay on her buzzer going on off or some of the words she squeezes out of her plastic face. But even then it's hard to tell as she hardly says no unless its no but i still think your amazing. Then there is David Hasselhoff, the 58 year old drunk who never seems to know whats going on. But if the contestant is a young lady in barely any clothes they already have his vote. As he stares like a pedophile outside a school gate as they dance around and jiggle. It makes you wonder why it's okay for him to do it but if he was to act the same at a secondary school he'd be locked in jail as a pedophile and get buggered by K.I.T. Last of all there is McIntyre who tries to bring an element of humor to show, which i thought was Hasslehoff's job I mean look at him ha ha he's speaking again, with his brand of this is an orange but at home it's called a banana and that's a funny difference, watch my face move kind of humor. I find him so unfunny I guess that's why he fits into this whole mess of a show. Even Simon Cowell doesn't want to watch it anymore. He can now wait while the money pours in from this God awful show while he conspires in his evil lair building a rocket that will destroy the sun. But don't worry because once B.G.T end's you can relax and enjoy Pier Morgans Life Stories.......Wow that bucket really can't hold no more......
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