A collection of home movies about your Granddad that even you've been framed wouldn't touch

While surfing the channels at an unholy time of 10 o'clock I flickered past all the fun filled morning TV. BBC had Homes under hammer, which is where a giant hammer employed by the BBC crushes the homes of unpaid license holders (this is of course not true as there are no hammers big enough, it's just another boring auction program with homes). The ITV was offering it's usual fun filled point and laugh show that is Jeremy Kyle. Where mongoloids from the planet retard come on and complain to the lord Kyle for praise and hope he will get the partner a job and tell them that one of the nine babies is there's. But I then landed on the channel that should not be named that is channel 5 which every weekday morning is filled with the should be radio show called The Wright Stuff, hosted by Matthew Wright the ex showbiz journalist from The Sun and The Daily Mirror. The show basically uses 10 minutes between the adverts to discuss a topic some of which are very important "Should we have assisted suicide in the UK" some of which are so boring you start to wish there was assisted suicide "Should girls be allowed in Scouts". But with all of the topics it never actually has an answer it just hoovers around like a bad smell waiting for a phone call that disagrees with the panel and they collapse like a Jenga set as you pull out the bottom piece. It's not that they don't have interesting topics it's just there is little time to actually discuss them with real fact and depth but at least they try hard and do get both sides of the argument if possible unlike the Alan Titchmarsh show, which is just a collection of home movies about your Granddad that even you've been framed wouldn't touch. Watching him woo the garments off the over 60's with his gardening skills really does make you vomit in your own mouth until he then whips out his guest and plugs whatever shit their selling, claiming it's the best thing since flowers even though you know he has no idea who they are. "Oh yes, Lady Gaga, I Love her telephone and Poker Face. Love me people please I've only got one skill but somehow I'm hosting a topical show for the blind" (of course also untrue as even blind people have standards). 

But much like the light hearten debuts of The Wright Stuff they bring on 3 guests to discuss a topic which is again okay on a show like this to chat on end about The Royal wedding and famous peoples shoes because this is all pointless banter that even dogs wouldn't stop licking there balls for. But it's when they decide to try and tackle real issues that the show twists your nipples to you can't take no more. I remember one episode where they were asking should Prisoners be allowed to vote. They had 3 guests to talk about the subject one being an ex prisoner who was stating his point that prisoners are people too and serve sentence for the crime they commit and as they will be coming out into the world why shouldn't they be allowed to vote whose in charge of there rights. As it states we are all legally allowed to vote as part of our rights. Which is a fair point to bring up, has logic and fact behind it. Weather you agree with it or not it still is a fair point and should be spoke with in an adult manner unlike Alan's other guest twatty McBigMouth (Ex News of The World and Sun Editor Nick Ferrari) who just started ranting like an angry mother saying well criminals are no longer people, what about hard working people who obey the law and think of the children. Which may have been great points if he'd actually put them into a human sentence rather than a Hitler style rally speech for the crowd to just lap up like hungry wolves. Then, as with The Wright Stuff, we've out of time and Alan will jump to some unrelated topic. "Okay, thank you for coming on the show and any views on this topic please visit our website. But now we have some cute little puppy's and some trees I'm going to cut into the shape of the British Flag", leaving the topic neither here nor their but just making the prisoner look like a fool as he's no with the crowd and part of the Titchmarsh gang. I feel that these show would benefit better if they left actual debate about the world to adults and carried on chatting about Jordon and other useless rubbish till they all march to Switzerland and decide to end it all in the name of Pop culture or a Bee or whatever is fashionable for the five seconds before the needle frees up some more car parking spaces outside Homebase.

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